I went back through my own messages to check across two cities, which is where the interesting part started. It turns out how much the interface pushes a subscription is worth checking before you commit any time. It was consistent in a way I could measure no matter how I adjusted the filters.

I stuck with it longer than most people would before deciding, and the results surprised me. Boiled down, how wide the distance filter goes shapes the first fortnight more than anything.

I spent longer on this than I meant to on this, and it was more revealing than I expected. The recurring theme was how the ranking rewards activity — it is easy to check and almost never checked. The evidence pointed the same way to a degree that mattered more clearly than anything else I looked at.

What I would tell someone starting from scratch:

  • How long a conversation stays available after a match — worth asking about before you invest time.
  • Check how hard the interface pushes a subscription
  • Worth confirming whether you can filter out inactive accounts — this is the one I would check first.
  • Worth confirming whether the filters narrow by anything that matters — the answer varies more than you would think.
  • How much of your social graph it wants — it changes the experience completely.

I read a lot of conflicting advice first on this, so this is not theoretical. The measurable difference came down to how blocking actually behaves, which explains most of the complaints here. It came out the same reliably long after the novelty had worn off. Happy to be argued with for what it is worth, so weigh it against your own results.